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16 December 2009

Question Time

- President Obama answers our questions

Written mid December 2009 - (155 lines)

*

A very good evening my friends, shalom!
I managed to find the time to come
To answer your questions, so let us go straight
To work, you know I can hardly wait
But first, so we all can feel at ease
Switch off all recording devices please
Now, what would you really like to know
Fire away, yes, you in the front row

What is the difference between Bush and you?
Come on, that's an insult: his eyes are blue

Are you white or are you really brown?
I am just a painted clown

What is written above the White House?
You must worship Mickey Mouse

What is the credo of the USA?
Don't do as we do, just do as we say

Which way forward would you recommend?
Follow the well-established trend

Are you planning to dismantle the Federal Reserve?
When I thought of John F Kennedy I lost my nerve

What is the real purpose of the UN?
A one world government run by Zion

The Security Council, what does it do?
Implements the will of the really wealthy Jew

What? Were you maybe just thinking loud?
Not everything we say makes us proud

Do you think you could possibly elaborate on that?
I thought this would just be an informal chat

Eleventh of September two thousand and one?
Yes, what about it, your question, go on

In your opinion, who was to blame?
We know every single name

But your list and our list may not be the same?
Be very careful not to defame

And the masses of evidence of an inside job?
Never listen to the angry mob

But Mr. President, facts are facts!
Ask my predecessor and see how he reacts

And who do you see as the real enemy?
Radical Islam, my advisors tell me

You promised to close Guantanamo?
Work in progress, however slow

Why are we in Afghanistan?
To defeat the Taliban

Do you believe it can be done?
The War on Terror will be won

Why are you sending thirty thousand more?
To protect our beloved homeland shore

Why then do they not simply stay home?
Americans must have space to roam

But why send them all the way over there?
We must show the world we care

What to do with Pakistan?
Destabilise it, if at all we can

And will you find that Osama guy?
For eight years now day and night we try

What is the answer to security?
Blackwater, now renamed Xe

What is the meaning of U-S-A?
Unbelievably Stupid Ass, many say

Why is it called A-me-ri-ca?
Because it rhymes with Ha-Ha-Ha-Ha!
And, more important, with Hal-lel-u-jah!

Now, who scores the highest ratings, dude?
The overpaid whores of Hollywood

American culture, defined one-two-three?
MacDonalds, Coca-Cola, MTV

What is the biggest lie ever told?
That America is not Zionist controlled

And why is there no money left?
It looks like unprecedented theft

And will the culprit be brought to book?
First we have to find the crook

No clues you can confirm or refute?
Resolute, prosecute, electrocute

And how will we ever balance the books?
Not as easy as it looks

What is the largest possible deficit?
I will tell you when we get to the bottom of it

American values, what are they?
Working for Zion every day

Which growth hormone is the best?
Depleted uranium beats all the rest

Where do you keep the nuclear codes?
I will email them just before the world explodes

But the question was: where are they kept?
Oh I see, pardon me, I momentarily slept

Now who is behind every evil plan?
Iran and Iran and Iran and Iran

The major obstacle to peace on Earth?
The Islamic Republic of Iran, since its birth

What exactly is the problem with Iran?
Khomeini once called us The Great Satan!

Hand on your heart, is it not true?
If you repeat that, we will sue

Your speeches, are they your own prepared text?
You know I can neither read nor write - NEXT!

What is the job of the President?
Sounding convincing and intelligent

And is that very difficult for you?
Not at the moment, ask in a year or two

Do you think you will pass the test?
I can only do my best

What is the most expensive joke?
America needs Israel (excuse me while I choke...)

Why does America support Israel?
Because if we do not we go to Hell

And is it dry and hot there, or cold and wet?
I cannot answer that one, have not been there - yet...

So you think that Israel has a right to exist?
What anti-Semite put that on the list?

Should the Palestinians have their own state?
My instructions are: they must continue to wait

But you do support democracy?
Up to a point, officially

So why don't you talk to elected Hamas?
Well..., ermm..., like..., pass!

Should we let the people in Gaza die of thirst?
Maybe - I must ask Netanyahu first

What about freezing settlements?
Global warming will heat up the tents

And the four or five million refugees?
That number is wildly exaggerated, PLEASE!

The future of Jerusalem?
We cannot give it back to them!

Dealing with Israel is not exactly bliss
And it is risky just whispering this:

Should I dare to criticise Israel
I would soon hear from the ADL
And AIPAC, "the elephant in the room"
Between them, they would prepare my tomb

What a relief to get that off my chest
But you know the conditions: Zion knows best

Anything else you wish to know?
Any more questions before I go?

Just time for three, and what shall it be:

Is it true you cannot spell li-ber-ty?

My God, what kind of question is that
Did you just draw it out of your hat?
Of course I can spell it, let me just think
Sorry, my computer is on the blink
So I am afraid you will have to wait
Or ask my secretary of state
She knows almost everything
Hold on a moment, I will give her a ring...

And if you could spell it, would you know what it means?
It's a gift to the world brought by US marines

And is it a birthright of everyone?
That depends entirely on how it is done

And, please, how do you read the signs?
We are out of time but, yes, in two lines:

The good old days we cannot retrieve
I see little change and less to believe

And that's all folks, must go, all right?
Thanks for your patience, God bless and good night!

*

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