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1 December 2014

Philosophy

- is a waste of time

Written November 2014 - (72 lines)

*

Philosophy is a waste of time
And if that opinion is now a crime
Then I plead guilty with a smile
For has anything truly worthwhile
Remotely useful or just coming close
Ever been stated by any of those
Who, instead of proper work, would
Devote their lives as best they could
To chasing concepts more than strange
Like any idea outside the range
Of normal human experience
So alien to common sense

They feel their time is better spent
In convoluted argument
Circular, sterile, clinical
Always purely rational
As exercises for the mind
Preferring the esoteric kind
To stimulate the intellect
While perfectly happy to neglect
Not only themselves but their families
In pursuit of mental capabilities
Devoid of any utility
And a textbook of futility!

Most of them arrogant and aloof
Divorced from reality, here is the proof:
Has any of what they had to say
Improved our lives or in any way
Advanced humanity, and if so how?
Accept the challenge and tell us now!

Their clever words filling heavy tomes
Have no place in ordinary homes -
Or are we unfair now? Let us see
And the consensus turns out to be:
Footstools by day and headrests by night!
Plus the opinion that they might
Conceivably have a specific use
For those eager to light a fuse
Indeed their fundamental appeal
Is starting a fire for a healthy meal
Or simply to keep the family warm
During a merciless winter storm

Facts are facts they claimed all along
And pure logic can never be wrong
The truth of that cannot be in doubt
But one little thing they never spell out
The critical point that they always miss
Is that a thorough analysis
Inevitably and consistently finds
Their works are a waste of brilliant minds!

So let us now blow them all away
Just take one look at the world today
And there is the answer, cold and stark:
Mankind still fighting in the dark
Unable to understand anything
Despite their superior reasoning

We got you there you clever fools!
Time for you now to pick up some tools
And prove to the world that you can thrive
On your own, or at least survive

Philosophers, yes, all of you
Please find something useful to do
With your time on this planet, and so we suggest
The practical down-to-earth way is best
Like digging ditches or clearing snow
Anything that will finally show
That you can earn your daily bread
Honestly without dropping dead
That you are capable of doing good -
Has the challenge been understood?

And your learned works are yours to keep
For reading them always sends us to sleep!

*

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